RANDOM SHOTS & RANDOM THOUGHTS

There are some things about this “new life” — bein’ an itinerant gun bum and scribbler — that I enjoy: More time with the Memsaab Helena and my teen-terror offspring, backyard barbecues and fresh, non military coffee chief among them … But back in the spotted saga of my past, I was too focus-locked on the tiny slice of news I was making to pay much attention to other news. That was a blessing. Now that I have to see the rest, I keep three things close at hand: A stiff drink, a box of Kleenex and an airsickness bag.

With the lag time of publishing, this stuff will be “old news” when you read it, but I’m confident that the “newnews” will still make you laugh, cry, puke and reach for a drink ….

One weekly newsmagazine is brimming with stories expressing shock and disbelief over the widespread looting and lawlessness around New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Shock and disbelief?

Hmmm, let’s see. Let’s take a place which could accurately be described as having “a rich and storied history of crime,” as clearly evidenced by decades of crime statistics. Then, virtually overnight, have 20 percent of the local police department — widely known for its stellar level of corruption — desert their posts and disappear, with a significant chunk of the remainder actually joining in the frenzy of looting, and leave those remaining brave, honest holdout cops without communications, transportation, and in some cases, even food, water and ammo sufficient for their own needs.

Can We All Say, “Duh …?”

Given these conditions, what could be more natural and predictable than widespread looting and lawlessness? C’mon, who thought the local drug-thug gangs were going to line up for volunteer duty with the Red Cross? Did we expect to see Bourbon Street back-alley dope dealers organizing to distribute bottled water and emergency rations to stranded elderly residents? Had we anticipated heroin, crack, and methamphetamine freaks, temporarily deprived of their usual street sources, forming eight-on, eight-off duty watches to provide security at the N’Awlins SuperDome? Can I see a show of hands? Anybody? Anybody?

Two images I can’t get out of my mind: Two uniformed NOPD officers, bumping elbows with teenage looters, while they fill up shopping carts with high-end cosmetics and designer shoes in a wrecked store. Those were “emergency supplies,” no doubt. What good are food, water and medical supplies without mascara and false eyelashes, especially, by the display-case full? And how can one patrol a flooded beat without 26 pairs of gold-sparkly spike heels stuffed into Gucci bags?

In contrast, one resolute young NOPD cop was seen, standing knee-deep in floodwater on a street corner with his sidearm and Ruger Mini-14. He had no contact with his chain of command, but simply posted himself there after witnessing brutal attacks on fleeing tourists. He said in essence, “Ain’t nobody else getting raped, robbed or shot on this block — not while I can stay alive and upright.” I can’t help wondering how that kid made out — and how many lives he may have saved merely by his armed, determined, lone and unsupported presence.

Laugh A Little, Cry A Little, Reach For Your Drink

Most of the “city” section of the daily paper hereabouts is devoted to blurbs about some local groups of hand-wringin’ sheeple demanding that we close up shop in Iraq and bring our troops home now! OK, sure, it’s the last quarter, we’re leading 52-7, so naturally, it’s time to declare a forfeit and get back on the bus for home. Hey, if we put on a real effort here, we could succeed in snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!

As justification for their position, they offer those tired old arguments that “we never had the support of our pals in Russia, Germany and France;” “even our support from Britain was fiercely opposed in Parliament;” “adjacent Arab nations are offended by our presence;” and my personal favorite, “it’s a job for the United Nations.”

Oh, yeah. Instead of writing reams of paper, citing dozens of sources, let’s just look at the October 27, 2005 report of the Independent Inquiry Committee investigating the UN’s “Oil for Food” program in Iraq. If you recall, that program was supposed to help “ease the burden of economic sanctions” on the people of Iraq. Ummm … It didn’t work — but it sure made a lot of people obscenely rich. Here are the bullets:

Before the program went into effect in 1996, illegal oil exports through Turkey and Jordan totaled about $10.99 billion. Remember when Turkey denied us invasion access to Iraq, hoping it would delay, disrupt, or even cancel our invasion plans? Gee, I wonder why? And where was all that oil bound for? Britain is a net exporter of oil. Three big consumers — who also happened to sit on the UN Security Council — are France, Germany and Russia.

The committee found 4,700 companies from 66 countries doing oil business with Saddam’s Iraq and paying kickbacks. Many, if not most of them, were set up as “fronts.” The countries with the most companies involved? Russia, followed by France. And the bank selected by the UN to handle the program’s funds? Le Banque Nationale de Paris. Saddam himself appears to have pocketed $1.8 billion in kickbacks alone. Total kickbacks and illegal oil sales will probably remain in the unknown 10s or 100s of billions.

The investigation concluded that UN management was “inept and corrupt,” and the former program director, Benon Sevan, received kickbacks himself. But what about that highly idealistic, altruistic British opposition? On October 25th, the US Senate’s investigative panel reported that anti-war British lawmaker George Galloway lied when he denied receiving UN oil-for-food allocations from Saddam Hussein. Looks like Galloway’s wife and his political organization collected about $600,000. That’s enough to buy a lot of noble-sounding opposition speeches in Parliament, we guess.