True Confessions

It happened again, and I can’t stand it anymore — the muffled whispers and furtive pointing; the sidelong slitty-eyed glances and snide snickering. I have to confess; get it off my chest and out in the open: I don’t shoot by The Book!

I was at another GunWriter Group-Grope — one of those wingdings put on by arms and ammo makers where a buncha real gunwriters and a couple fellow hacks like me are invited to burn up a ton of somebody else’s ordnance and fondle their firearms.

Anyway, I was merrily makin’ mayhem on innocent cardboard targets when, once again, I became aware of weighty stares and rancid repugnance radiatin’ from an assembly of The Anointed. They were horrified at my heresy. See, I don’t worship at any particular Temple of Technique or follow any “School of Shootery” du jour. I have what I call “evolved practices,” born of experience, and they’re still evolving. But in the eyes of the Keepers of The Book, my sins are many and mortal, it seems.

In an attempt to avoid co-pay costs for sessions on a shrink’s sofa, maybe I’ll just spill my guts to you guys …

The Seven Deadly Sins

I don’t do “tactical speed reloads” with pistols or mag-fed rifles. I don’t hit the mag release and kick empty magazines out on the deck with my weapon hand while reaching for a fresh one with the other. I do “sure & certain combat reloads” as fast as I can without fumbling. That means keeping an unchanged granite grip on the weapon, hitting the mag release with my off-hand and assisting that empty mag out if necessary. Then I’ll fetch a fresh mag and shove it in.

Yeah, I know. This might cost you critical points in a match. But in my experience, doing otherwise could cost my life in a fight. Pristine mags should fall free from a clean mag well, but just add mud/blood/beer, sand/sludge/grit, twisted positions or damage to the equation, and “drop-free” mags often don’t. I could practice “tactical speed reloads” just for matches or to “fit in with the boys,” but I won’t, because I know me under fire, and I want just one absolutely reliable reloading drill in my head when somebody’s trying to blast my butt off.

My slide release ain’t a “slide release,” it’s a “slide STOP.” I don’t thumb that lever to feed first rounds on reloads. I crank the slide back briskly to its limit either overhand or “slingshot style” because I want that slide driven home under full spring-plus-paw power. Again, it’s all about keeping that granite grip, plus absolute certainty the round is fully chambered and the slide is in battery. It ain’t slick and stylish, but it’s survivable. If you can chew gum, whistle and play with your GameBoy whilst shooting for your life, good for you. I can’t.

I don’t “ride the safety” on a 1911, keepin’ it held down with the master thumb to prevent it from bein’ bumped up and engaging unintentionally. I confess I never heard much about it until recently, but I’ve read several experts’ opinions that this practice separates the pros from the poseurs.

I guess I’m a heavily-experienced poseur. Riding it just doesn’t work for me. If I use too high a thumb-over-thumb grip I lose rigidity, and I’m not installing shelf-sized safety levers. Maybe a tad wider than standard, OK. I like my slides slick and “service-issue” for all kinds of clumsy Neanderthal reasons.

Plunging Into Purgatory

I am a profligate expender of ordnance, operating under the premise if anything needs shootin’ once (besides game) could probably benefit from a barrage of bullets until its inherent threat potential is absolute zero. Kinda like the difference between water “kinda-sorta-maybe conditionally” freezing at 32 degrees Fahrenheit, versus complete cessation of quantum activity at minus 459.6 F or zero Kelvin. I’ve seen too many guys who were “technically dead,” but who apparently didn’t receive their termination telegram, so they kept fighting. That kinda thing scares me.

I respect my own Fear Factor. For me, the quicker that dude is deader, the sooner I’m less scareder.

I don’t like feather-light triggers that “break like a thin, glass rod.” Not on firearms for Serious Social Work anyway, so I avoid them entirely. I want to know when I’m “on” that trigger, and it will require deliberate pressure to go bang — not when Adrenaline Overdrive decides to drop the hammer for me. What I want is a clean break after a tad of take-up. So I’m not a connoisseur, so crucify me, OK?

I’m not a straight-up shooter. The Book says a handgun should be held at zero vertical and, as much as possible, zero horizontal. I think this sprang from the days when first, shooting positions were dictated by geometry-driven military martinets, second, when a lot of pistols wouldn’t feed and function when held off-axis, and third, when all training and practice shooting was done on black-ball bull’s-eye targets. It made for a prettier sight picture — but I’ve never had to fight a bull’s-eye target. Two-handed or single, strong or weak hand, I shoot best when side-canted about 10 to 15 degrees. You might shoot better that way too, but watch out for angry mobs of The Anointed bearing pitchforks, tar and feathers.

I don’t “index” nice, or “UTM” per usual. When you’re not actually “tappin’ the trigger with intent to pop caps,” your index finger is s’posed to be rigidly extended straight along the frame. Mine doesn’t “rigid” very well, and “straight” went off the table with some fractured mitt-bones and nerve damage a while back. The tip of my crooked trigger finger parks on the side of the triggerguard in Condition Orange, and it’s on the trigger in Condition Red. Note: I go Red real easy (another reason for favoring sorta stout service triggers).

Dang, I feel so much better now! And I didn’t have to lay on a couch or pay a guy in Gucci loafers to listen to me!

Connor OUT