Breaking News: California Approves New Assault Weapon
In a stunning move, the California legislature completed an apparent about-face, adding a new “assault weapon” concept to its approved firearm registry. The move shocked many industry insiders accustomed to onerous approval processes and seemingly automatic denials based on arbitrary and cosmetic feature changes.
“You have to understand that it’s our job to strike a fine balance between public safety, protecting the Second Amendment rights or our citizens, and being hypocritical tyrannical weenies,” stated Lieutenant Governor Michael Avenatti.
Perhaps the biggest stunner was the reintroduction of standard capacity magazines into legally-approved territory. After years of outright war on what state politicians deemed “high-capacity” magazines, the legislature appears to have no qualms with the new offering from Sycamore Arms LLC.
“People think we’re against high-capacity magazines. That couldn’t be further from the truth,” observed California Public Safety official Arnold Schwarzenegger. “We just want to make sure they’re used in such a way as to maximize public safety. Namely, we want to make sure they’re completely dysfunctional.”
April Fools! Did we fool you or make you laugh? Let us know at [email protected].
Note: High-capacity magazines and most firearms remain illegal in California. Unfortunately, this story is satire.
