Exclusive: Thank Your Lucky Stars

By David Codrea

“And all the stars that never were are parking cars and pumping gas…”

There’s much truth in that line from Dionne Warwick’s 1968 hit Do You Know the Way to San Jose? There are plenty of performers doing stock theater and playing in local clubs every bit as talented, if not more so, than TV actors with their own series, headliner bands and top-of-the-charts vocal artists, and Hollywood A-listers reaping millions per picture.

Not to discount the talent, training and hard work that has led to the placement of “stars” in the celebrity firmament (except maybe in the case of much of the “reality TV” universe that provides a modern day equivalent of the old carny freak shows), it’s also fair to consider what influence connections and luck had in elevating some performers over the pack. That makes it fair to wonder how much of a celebrity’s success can be equated to winning the lottery. And it’s also fair to question how many “beloved actors” are really narcissistic exhibitionists who will literally do anything for attention, and who slept and clawed their way to the top, discarding any along the way who are no longer useful.

So who better to listen to for leadership on “common sense gun safety laws”?

Chances are no one would have ever heard of Kim Kardashian had she not been fathered by a multi-millionaire lawyer who helped defend her godfather, OJ Simpson, and “starred” in a leaked “sex tape” that produced enough notoriety and public prurience to lead to a “reality show.” That in turn has been enough for the “famous for being famous” Kardashian to amass tens of millions of social media followers, to rake in a reported $53M a year, and for Time Magazine to name her “one of the most influential people of 2015.”

She uses that influence to stump for gun owner control, endorsing schemes like using due process-denying secret “watchlists” and “mental health” dragnets to prohibit us, the little people, from gun transfers, parroting meaningless buzzwords like “loophole,” and misleading about buying guns online.

“Nothing has changed!!!!” she tweeted hysterically. “People continue to senselessly die. When will these gun laws be changed?!?!?!?!!!!?????”

No worries. She’s taken care of.

“Kim Kardashian wants to make it clear to anyone who’s even thinking of pulling off a heist at her expense … you could end up dead, because she’s amping up her security to Presidential levels,” celebrity gossip website TMZ relayed following a purported (and disputed by some) hotel room invasion robbery in Paris. “Sources close to Kim tell us … her new security detail includes former members of the Secret Service, who will be armed to the teeth.”

Speaking of private security professionals, per Radar Online, former celebrity bodyguard Leonard Taylor, whose clients have included Uma Thurman (of ultra-violent “Kill Bill” fame) and “action hero” Mark Wahlberg, has made some pretty astounding claims in a lawsuit, including that “he was forced to ‘buy cocaine for celebrities’ such as John Mayer and Chris Evans while he worked at a New York nightclub.”

While noting the drug trade and turf wars are behind much of the urban gang culture and violence that fuel the demands for more citizen disarmament, it’s important to keep in mind that those charges are not proof. Still, what’s outrageous regardless, is the nexus between bodyguards and anti-gun celebrities.

Thurman joined virulently anti-gun “beauty tip, celebrity and career advice” magazine Marie Claire’s “End gun violence now” campaign,” posted on the Internet Movie Database under the title “Stars Join Forces To Ban Guns.” Her then-husband actor Ethan Hawke confirmed the goal, proclaiming “I don’t think you should be able to possess that power in the palm of your hand.”

He’s not alone in that wish, despite gun-grabber ridicule of the notion as paranoid, insisting “No one wants to take your guns.” Of course they do. As does another of Taylor’s clients, who nonetheless would still like guns of his own.

“Lone Survivor” and “Shooter” leading man Mark Wahlberg was recently unsuccessful at getting a violent, racist criminal record officially forgiven (when younger, he had beaten two men and left one blinded in one eye). He tried to get a pardon because he wanted to be able to own guns and become a reserve Los Angeles police officer. That way, he’d be in a better position to enforce California disarmament edicts against those of us without criminal records.

“Certainly, I haven’t used a gun anywhere other than on a movie set and I’d like to see if we could take them all away,” Wahlberg had earlier told the Herald Sun. “It would be a beautiful thing.”

While not responsible for the lineup, it’s ironic that musician John Mayer appeared at a concert for Virginia Tech in 2007 that immediately produced controversy and objections from families when it was announced. That’s because rapper Nas was also featured on the billing, and per The Washington Post, his lyrics include such inspirational sentiments as “‘Shoot ’em up, just shoot ’em up, what?’ followed by whispers of ‘Kill, kill, kill, murder, murder, murder.’”

“I’m proud of this sit-in,” Chris Evans tweeted about a stunt by Congressional Democrat gun-grabbers that has some House Republicans mulling censure as an appropriate response to a blatant rules violation. “We need common sense gun reform. And to be clear, NO ONE IS TAKING AWAY GUNS! Just looking for COMMON SENSE reform.”

Leave it to the guy who plays WWII comic book hero Captain America to make such an un-American proposal. For “progressives,” every day really is Opposite Day.

Evans then proceeded to support a petition calling for a renewed federal ban on semi-autos and for Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey’s senseless reinterpretation of her state’s ban that threatens to turn thousands of previously-“lawful” gun owners into felons. His use of capital letters for emphasis notwithstanding, taking guns away is exactly the effect that will have.

In a way, seeing famous celebrities prove themselves to be … enemies … is disappointing. If you think that word is harsh, how else would you describe someone who backs having armed enforcers confiscate your property and haul you away (or worse) for exercising a right enshrined in the Constitution? After all, the experience most of us have with entertainment luminaries is watching them pretending to be heroic, witty, compassionate, beautiful and wise. It’s easy to assign those traits to the actor behind the character, and forget we’re essentially watching a stage prop speaking lines and performing deeds at the direction of others who aren’t as photogenic.

Once they’re off script, we’re basically dealing with people who live in a bubble of celebrity privilege, where those at the top attain their station and remain there by adhering to Hollywood’s “progressive” orthodoxy, one that will tolerate no “heresies” nor recognize and reward traditional “conservative” American values. That probably goes a long way to explain how screwed up so many of these people are in real life, as evidenced by the celebrity tabloids screaming about their latest scandals from the supermarket checkout counter racks. So few of them, it seems, control themselves. How telling those seem to be the ones bent on controlling the rest of us.

Just remember that when celebrity-endorsed politicians pass celebrity-promoted edicts, you can thank those lucky stars for helping make them happen. Instead of parking cars…

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