Extreme Extraterrestrial Duty?

Malevolent space aliens are all the rage at the local Cineplex. And unnaturally muscular folk clad in spandex perennially save the planet from a bewildering array of extraterrestrial creepy-crawlies. But did you ever imagine how it might play out for real? What if there really was a shadowy agency tasked with defending all of humanity against a space-faring menace. What sort of weapons might they tote?

Well, cost is obviously no object — we’ll not be cutting corners when the fate of the world hangs in the balance (as this is likely a government agency, it’s not like it’s real money anyway). Additionally, the gun would obviously be some variation on John Moses Browning’s peerless hand howitzer. I can fathom no better contrivance for expeditiously transforming invading extraterrestrials into malodorous purple goo.

This hypothetical counter-alien smokepole also needs to look at least as cool as a BlasTech E-11 Star Wars blaster, because you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

At the end of the day, a powerful argument could be made that the perfect sidearm for real-world Men in Black would be the Nighthawk Custom Agent 2.